Neha' s Journey

Neha and me met at our workplace and we instantly hit off. Her story, I am sure will inspire anyone and also motivate them. today she is the marketing Manager of a large organization. till date she inspires me with her courage and vivacity. She never ceases to amaze me.  And if this inspires you then pls do comment and wish her all the best for a wonderfulr life.

Her Story. written as it is by Neha . 

 

In my faintest memories , as a child… I mostly remember this crazy laughter i was famous for. And now with time i realized that in this entire period of fighting life , that is my biggest asset.

Born in a small village in Bihar, amidst a lot of greenery, families the size of  a battalion, 7 cows in my cow shed, a garden you could play soccer in, uneducated relatives, and a forever busy kitchen. Thank god for a father who was a Senior Cambridge education system product..

I created a crime as soon as i was born.. first child that too a girl.. and to top it all blind from one eye. Acceptance … zero! But lucky to be born to a father who could never take his eyes off me. Who with every injection, every surgery, every downfall would just stand up and not let any one enter that space where I could be maligned. And yes my laughter bit!

But we all know our parents are not around all the time, there is  money to earn, other siblings to be taken care of..etc etc. and so the fight began. Comments which I could not understand but later on learnt what those words meant. Looks of pure disgust from people I would make bouquets for. A second family grand father who thought I looked worse than his maid’s child. An aunt who would say :”ohh! u will never be married, oh! You will soon be totally blind!.. and some how those tears which so easily fall now ( I cry even while seeing sentimental advertisements!) were hidden behind that crazy laughter I am still so famous for.

It was in my teens , post three miserably failed eye surgeries, away from home since the age of five, rejected from stage shows, acts.. and yes those ever haunting comments… that I felt negative for the first time. Blame it on the hormones.. I was a teenager after all!

I stopped talking, stopped participating, I don’t have a lot of pictures from those days. I hated the camera because the out come caused a lot of  smotherd giggles and hurtful comments.

And to top it all doc said  my other eye will not be healthy long.. I might have to quit studying. My father had put me in one of the most prestigious schools of Asia “ Mayo College girls school( Mind you i am freaking proud of it and i mention it to every new person I meet). I always was a good student and my parents gave me the best of education.. even better than my younger brothers. At that point of time my education was the most important thing to me and this guy , my doctor says I should not study?? Where is god?

I broke and how… and my father put his head in my lap and cried like a baby.. and kept saying “ I am sorry “ . where was my daddy to be blamed? My parents had to send me away when I was only five because they never wanted the negatives of my home town to cause me any pain. In a family where there were mostly non educated women I was studying in the best institution ever.. going back to all that was more pain of a father who stayed away from his baby just so that this place would never haunt her.

I am sure life is not a bed of roses for anyone.. we all have our own battles, secrets, break ups, lies.. etc etc. but you can choose what to do with your life, if god wants me blind than why not study till I become so??  I made up my mind at the age of 13, I go blind or no? I marry or no? I will never ever let my parents feel that they didn’t do enough. I will never ever make myself feel i didn’t do enough. I will never scorn the relatives who called me names.. i blame it on their illiteracy. I will dance , study,love,fight,cry, and never pity myself.

Dr. batharia is dead now.. but well my other eye is totally safe! I am a MBA – Marketing and at this moment four years working. I have won several best dancers awards. Debated, traveled, yes each bit was difficult but remember science ? “fight” or “flight”.. I chose to fight.

Yes I am 26 now, six surgeries ( it just looks slightly better now)and going.. but never losing hope for that one successful one.  Yes, rejected by an oberoi hotel four years back termed as “ physically disabled” but taken by a world leader in the same segment!

Yes the taunts our some where.. hidden behind my crazy laughter and compliments from guys I crush on;) it still is difficult for me.. but not impossible.

Now when I go back to Bihar, they respect me, hear stories from me… I am their favourite!  I am most people’s favourite (all smiles)!

Still I am asked whether I will spend my life single … for no decent family will bring home a blind bride.. and i smile an answer “will you sit bothering about my future or plan a holiday with me to goa???”

It would never have been possible without a family who loves me beyond imagination. Believes in my passion for life. A father who never stopped me when I wanted to explore.. A mother who believed her daughter was god sent. I don’t know when  a disability became a blessing in disguise.

I am not allowed to drive, swim etc etc.. but isn’t there much more to life than just that?

I read some where that when you are in pain  - 80 percent of people are glad that you are suffering… 20 percent just don’t care. True or not the pain you feel is yours alone and the choice you make is yours and yours alone.

I am still looking at so much more to do. I  am going to begin dancing again too.. a lot of plans. And fully ready to execute it all too. I dreamt.. I dream and I will always dream. The surgeries have become a part of my life. And I just treat it like a swollen gum problem.

The word disability can mean different things to different people. You choose your meaning.. define it.. believe in it.. nurture it. Positivity can turn things around.

So, yes I am 26, awaiting two more surgeries(remember the swollen gum bit). I still have to wear a surgical tape before sleeping… and yes i still laugh uncontrollably!! yes there are difficult days but your lives have that too.. right?

Dilli. Dilwaalon ki.

It’s so true going by this incident. I was working for Interpub advertising then( for a short while) and I was posted for 3 months in Delhi to look after the creative dept and restructure it completely.  It was a cold winter night. And I was on my way home with my colleague on his bike.  Obviously being new to the city I was a bit apprehensive taking a taxi home (especially hearing that Delhi is never safe in the night for women). So I jumped on to my colleague’s bike happily. As we drove towards my brother’s home, where I was staying. My colleague suddenly realized there was hardly any fuel in the bike. We drove on searching for a fuel station. But we couldn’t find any nearby fuel stations.  Finally we came across one and with a sigh of relief we entered the petrol pump but our happiness was short lived. The guard there, covered head to toe in winter clothes, with just his eyes visible, muffled – “it’s shut”.  So again we drove off looking for the next petrol pump. By now it was really cold on the bike and I just wanted to reach to the warmth of my brother’s home. We drove a long lonely stretch and there was not a single petrol pump nearby. Just as I started panicking, we ran out of fuel completely. We halted and pulled the bike to the road side. My colleague decided to take help from strangers passing by or hitch hike whatever came our way. I Had no choice but to go along with whatever he said. Well as usual nobody neither stopped nor bothered. And those who did would slow down to see me, as if I was out in the zoo to be watched. lol

Strange but true. Finally a Sardar in his 50s (and no it’s not a sardar joke) stopped by in that long lonely stretch and asked us what happened. When we explained him, the guy turned round and said – “koi problem nahiji. You take fuel from me”. (no problem brother, take fuel from my scooter) I was taken aback. Obviously thinking the worst as to why would a strange man help without a reason?  But there was no filmy drama to it.  The gentleman removed most of the fuel from his scooter and left a little bit as he had to go nearby and hence didn’t need much. And he drove away quietly. He didn’t take any money either. Nor did he ask us where we stayed or make any other demands. 

Moral of the story: There are still a few good Samaritans in the world who help people for the sake of humanity and without a reason. True Dilli Dilwalon ki hai.